If Only By The Night
by LateNightConversations
Summary: Slightly ties in with my other two fics Slow to Learn and Kaleidoscope Life, though not a direct sequel. Post RFB...A weeks worth of nights and days on the Bebop find Spike dealing with some strange troubles, and Faye acquires a new habit. Where will it all lead?
1. The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

**Trouble: A cause of distress, annoyance or inconvenience. **That sounded just about right, Spike Spiegel was definitely experiencing trouble. Not the kind of trouble one might find themselves in with the law, or the type that people run into with money, though funds were always tight. No, his trouble was of a different kind. It was complex, perplexing and down right odd. It was early in the morning, probably too early to be awake, but nagging thoughts bounced around in his skull like a ping pong ball. Laying sprawled out on his bed, clad only in his boxer shorts, a half smoked cigarette between his fingers, Spike let his mind dwell on his trouble.

The day before had been much like any other. The only current bounties had been the smallest of the small. Faye had taken up all the hot water with her shower, most likely on purpose. Spike had dropped the sandwich he had made himself for lunch, and Ein had scarfed it down before he could even think of trying to pick it up. Ed had been checked out of the real world in favor of cyber space. Jet had spent hours with his little potted army of bonsais. There had been a nap, a beer or three, half a pack of cigarettes smoked, and a small petty fight started with Faye out of sheer boredom. It had been a regular run of the mill day for Spike. Even as night fell and everyone, himself included, had retired to bed, nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. It wasn't until the middle of the night that his new found trouble had began.

Waking in the middle of the night to something warm pressed against his back, was when Spike fell victim to this variety of trouble. He didn't even need to roll over to decipher what the source of warmth was. It was a familiar feeling from a makeshift camping weekend about a month ago. Faye was currently in laying back to back with him. Despite the familiarity, it was still a bit unsettling that she was in his bed, he knew she had most definitely not been there when he fell asleep

Slowly and cautiously Spike rolled over, and propped himself up on his elbow, his eyes studying Faye's sleeping form. Her hair had fallen in her face, hiding her features from him. Eyes scanning down her body, he watched her side move slowly with each rhythmic breath. Rolling back to his side, facing the wall, Spike contemplated waking Faye to ask her exactly what the hell she thought she was doing. Yet the odd comfort of a body beside him, and the overwhelming need for sleep won him over. The questioning could wait until morning.

Unfortunately once morning came, Spike had found himself alone, and wondering if perhaps it had been some sort of strange dream, which in itself disturbed him a little. However the fact that the other pillow on his bed smelled distinctly like Faye told him otherwise, she had been there.

Having played last nights events through his head once more, Spike studied the stumpy remains of cigarette number three still between his fingers. Staring at the dull orange glow and thin wispy smoke he sighed, crushing it out. _Who the hell sneaks into someone's room at night to sleep next to them and then leaves before the morning. Apparently Faye does. What the hell is her deal?_

The grumbling protests of hunger forced Spike to sit up. It was probably time to get up and get some breakfast, and more importantly confront Faye about her odd behavior from last night. Pulling on a pair of pants and a tshirt, Spike trudged in a zombie-like state toward kitchen in search of food.

Entering the kitchen, Spike stopped dead in his tracks. His current trouble forgotten for the moment at the sight of coffee, bacon, eggs, and toast all set out on table. Jet sat drinking a cup of coffee and Faye was staring at the news paper as if it were the most interesting thing ever. Ed sat under the table, sharing her breakfast with Ein. _Ah, domestic tranquility. _"When the hell did we get bacon?"

Faye looked up at Spike from the paper, then quickly adverted her glance back to it, she looked slightly unnerved. Jet took a drink of coffee and looked up from the section of the paper he was glancing at. "I was feeling generous. Now get a plate and eat up before its gone."

Spike did as he was told, and relished the fact that he was eating a decent breakfast for the first time in weeks. As he ate, he studied Faye as she continued to read the paper. Part of him just wanted to blurt out the burning question, but Ed and Jet were both in the room. The last thing he wanted to do was make things more awkward, or embarrass Faye. Truth be told there would have been a time when embarrassing her in front of everyone would have made his day, but in the 10 months since he had returned to the Bebop he and Faye had begun to grow into closer friends. He chuckled inwardly, as much as he might not want to admit to himself, he was slowly changing. Without a past to haunt him, the anger with in him had started to fade, giving way to a much more carefree attitude. Sure memories from the past would always be there, but it was settled, over and done with, simply a reminder to not dwell on things that should be left alone, as painful as that could be at times.

Shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth, Spike looked from Jet to Faye, both engrossed in different sections of the paper. Ed and Ein had scampered off, and the silence in the room, except for the turning of paper, sipping of coffee, or the sound of his own chewing in his ears, had suddenly become irritating. "So Faye, sleep good last night?"

Faye froze mid page turn, then continued flipping through the paper without looking up. "Sure."

Taking a long drink from his coffee, draining the rest of the contents, Spike got up, putting his plate in the sink._ Yeah I bet you did._ _Icy bitch. _Though her current indifference was particularly aggravating, Spike had to admit to himself that he had actually slept very well. "Well….then guys, I'm off to shower."

Jet nodded, and returned to the paper. Faye continued to all but ignore him.

Heading down the hall, Spike rubbed his temples. He could feel a headache coming on. _Where the hell does she get off sneaking into my room, and then ignoring me. I've got to figure this shit out. _Spike could feel irritation and confusion meshing inside him. He knew Jet was just being usual morning time Jet, but usually by this time he had Faye had exchanged a barb or two, or had teamed up on Jet. For a brief fleeting moment Spike thought maybe he was still sleeping, or better yet maybe he was a ghost. Pinching his arm slightly, he shook his head at such a silly notion. Maybe a shower would help, if not he was apt to end up going crazy.


	2. I Think Were Alone Now

Freshly showered and dressed, Spike roamed aimlessly around the Bebop in search of Faye. Usually she was so damn loud that locating her wouldn't be a problem. She hadn't commandeered the bathroom after him, she wasn't in her room, not in the kitchen or the common room. _Where the hell is she!?_

Lighting a cigarette as he passed the hanger, Spike soon found the answer to his question. He scratched the back of his head, wondering why he hadn't thought to check there sooner. Faye was washing the Redtail, currently bent over, scrubbing the tires down. Spike took the moment to admire the view, before Faye's voice startled him. "Can I do something for you?"

Casually exhaling a cloud of smoke Spike shrugged. "Why are you acting all weird?"

Dropping the rag she held into the bucket of suds, Faye turned to face him. "What do you mean?"

Spike searched her face for any sort of indicator that she knew where the conversation was heading. Unfortunately he saw none. _If only she had a poker face like that when she plays cards…maybe she'd win. _Spike smirked at his thought before answering her. "I mean…your being all quiet and shit. Normally you're loud enough to wake the dead." _Damn it, don't forget the part about her sneaking into your room._

Faye threw her hands up, cutting Spike off before he could get the rest of his sentence "So I am too loud, then I am too quiet?! What the fuck do you want Spike? Make up your mind."

Cigarette dangling from his lips, Spike raised his hands and backed away in a mocking fashion. "Easy tiger. Chill out, what are you on your period or something?"

Standing with her hands on her hips, Faye glared at him in such a way that Spike thought that he might just burst into flames. She stalked over to him, snatching the cigarette from his mouth, and taking a drag. "Spike. Grow up."

Watching her storm off, Spike sighed and lit another smoke. _Well that went wonderfully…perhaps a nap is in order._

Waking a few hours later, Spike found himself cuddling with pillow that still smelled faintly like Faye. His face pressed into it, he inhaled deeply, then quickly shoved it away. Grumbling he forced himself to sit up, he needed to get out of this room. Passing the hangar by as he headed toward the kitchen, he noticed the Redtail was gone, but Jet was in there tinkering with something. "Yo Jet, where's Faye?"

Jet didn't bother to look up from his work. "Bounty…small fry"

"Ah, so she's jonesin' for the ponies…or puppies even."

Jet chuckled slightly, "Well as long as she's doin' it with her own money I don't care."

Shrugging, Spike walked off, without another word, heading for his original destination.

Sitting on the couch with a freshly constructed sandwich, Spike watched as Ein stared intently at him. "In your dreams pal." Taking a bite, he chewed slowly, making sure to keep his eyes on the dog. As he took another bite, Ein whined, and pawed at his leg. Rolling his eyes at the pathetic attempt, Spike tore off a piece and threw it to the dog. "Fine, but don't go telling your friends."

"Telling who what!?" Ed seemingly popped out of no where, vaulting over the back of the couch, startling Spike who dropped his sandwich, Ein making short work of it once more.

"Jesus Christ Ed! Don't do that!" Spike leaned his head against the back of the couch.

Ed poked Spike in the side. "Spike-person…why are you blue?"

Spike half opened his eyes, glancing sidelong at her "I'm not."

"Are you sure it's not because Faye-Faye came sneaking out of your room?"

"No…that's not.." Spike's eyes flew open. "Wait! What? You saw that?"

Ed nodded "Mmm Hmm"

"Well let's not tell anyone about that. Okay Ed?"

The spunky red head nodded furiously and ran off, Ein in tow. "Okie Dokie!"

Spike rubbed the bridge of nose between his fingers, closing his eyes again. _Great…the kid knows…I swear if she says something I'll break that damn computer of hers._ Spike knew deep down he wouldn't, but the last thing he needed was Ed blabbing.

The rest of the day was much like the day before. Countless cigarettes smoked, circles walked around the bebop, dinner of Jet's bell peppers and "beef". Spike had tried to wait up for Faye to return, but boredom gave way, and he decided to turn in early. This time he planned on waiting up to see if she would make a return appearance. Sometime around 11:30 he heard her return, a muffled conversation between her and Jet could be heard in the hall way, the only understandable words being "Lost" and "How much". Rolling on his side to face the wall, he got comfortable and ready to pretend to sleep.

He had almost started to actually doze off, when he heard the door quietly open, and then shut softly. _Here we go._ Spike focused on trying to keep his breathing slow and rhythmic, as he felt a soft weight on the bed beside him. He heard Faye sigh softly, and scoot closer to him. His breath caught when he felt her arm slip around him, and her lips press against his bare shoulder. He prayed she hadn't notice this, as he tried to keep himself in a believable state of feigned sleep. _Well, someone is a lot more forward tonight._ Her lips ghosted against his skin as she spoke to him. "Good night Lunkhead."

Spike laid there for what felt like forever, until he was certain that Faye was asleep by the change in her breathing. He could feel her breath against the back of his neck, and in her sleep her hand had slipped from his chest to his stomach. Spike could feel goose bumps rise on his skin. _God this feels so right…but it shouldn't…should it? _As much as Spike really wanted to wake her now and get some answers, he had resolved himself to the fact that he was starting to enjoy Faye's new habit. Much to his dismay he had also start to discover that he was simply just beginning to enjoy Faye in general.

He let his mind wander back a couple of months to the impromptu camping trip he had set up for the two of them on the flight deck. They had joked around, and actually had fun together. He had kissed her forehead, they had slept side by side and watched the sunrise. As soon as the weekend had ended though their relationship had gone back to the usual norm for them. Then there was the night a few weeks back when they had gotten drunk on the couch, and she had kissed him, and now there was this new nightly ritual. It seemed as though when things went well, and seemed to be moving a new direction, that everything just fell right back into a normal routine. Sometimes it felt like maybe moments like these were just a dream.

Spike immediately cringed at his analogy. _Enough of this dream bullshit. I wasn't living a dream then, and I'm not now. _Lightly he ran his fingers across the back of Faye's hand. Eventually he would have to be up front and confront her about this, but for now he was going to just go with it. Closing his eyes again, Spike gave into sleep.


	3. Because the Night

Morning came far to soon, and once again Spike found himself alone. If he was beginning to enjoy sleeping next to Faye and night, he was also beginning to hate waking up alone every morning. Dragging himself out of bed and dressing, he started on his usual route to the kitchen. As he passed the bathroom, he could hear the shower running. _To late to be Jet, must be Faye. _That's when the idea hit him. Maybe Jet could give him some insight. Taking a detour, Spike headed for Jet's bonsai room.

Jet sat, carefully pruning the little green bushes, the look on his face one of absolute concentration. Spike lit a cigarette, and cleared his throat hoping to get the older man's attention. "Uhh…hey Jet.."

Looking up from his task at hand, Jet set the clippers down. " What's up Spike"

Spike walked further into the room, and Jet resumed snipping branches. "Faye's been sleeping with me." Immediately he mentally slapped himself, not meaning for his words to quite come out that way.

Jet dropped his clippers and turned his attention back to Spike, and goofy grin spreading across his stern face. "Well….Spike-O, ya ol dog. Its about time!"

Realizing what Jet was insinuating, Spike felt a light blush creep across his face. "God no! Not like that! It's just….weird, she keeps sneaking into my room at night, and then she's gone by the morning."

Jet scratched the top of his balding head. "She stealing anything?"

Spike fiddled with Jet's clippers. "Well, I mean…no. I mean you know how she is Jet, it's not like I can just talk to her about it like normal people. What am I supposed to do?"

"Spike. Put the clippers down."

Frowning, Spike took a long drag off his cigarette and set the clippers back down on the table.

Jet rubbed his beard. "Well Spike I don't know what to tell ya. You know women are confusing . You're a grown man, gotta figure that out yourself."

Crushing out his smoke in one of the bonsai pots, Spike headed out of the room, pausing in the doorway. "Thanks for the help old man."

Jet quickly removed the butt, and smoothed the dirt back out, grumbling at Spike's retreating form. "Damn ingrate."

The rest of the day went like clock work, just as the last few had. Spike was starting to feel like he was in a hamster wheel. Everything going round and round, and getting absolutely no where. Heading for bed that night he decided he was going to confront Faye tonight, and break this cycle.

The time on the alarm clock read midnight, Spike rolled onto his side, and faced the wall, preparing himself for his new nightly ritual. Shortly after, just like the past two nights, Faye showed up once more. Getting under the covers, she snuggled close to him. Spike kept his eyes open, staring at the wall, waiting for the right time to say something to her.

Laying a hand on his shoulder, Faye pressed her forehead against the back of Spike's neck, and started to speak. " Ya know, I think I'm crazy. Night after night I come in here, I don't know why. I guess I sleep good like this, but then in the morning I feel guilty, and can barely face you." Lightly she kissed the back of his neck, and continued. "I didn't want to admit it to myself, and I am glad you're asleep, because I could never tell you to your face…"

Spike kept his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him, listening to her every word. He realized that he was holding his breath, though Faye was oblivious to it all.

"Damn it, it shouldn't be this hard to do, knowing that you're clueless…" She gripped his shoulder very lightly, her forehead still pressed against the back of his neck. "I…I love you Spike."

Her words shocked him, and he let out the breath he had been holding. He felt Faye tense against him, and then move to get up. "Oh my god…shit."

Rolling over quickly, Spike grabbed her wrist, stopping her. " Wait."

As Spike released her wrist, and moved to turn on the bedside lamp, Faye stayed sitting on the edge of the bed, her elbows on her knees, her fingers massaging her temples. "This is so embarrassing….have you been awake this whole time?"

Propping himself up on his elbow, Spike contemplated lying for a moment. " Yes….and last night too."

Silence fell between them, thick and uncomfortable, before Spike spoke again. "Did you mean that? What you said?"

Green eyes locked on the floor, Faye nodded and answered quietly. "Yes."

"Then why are you embarrassed?"

"Because I know you don't…." Her words were cut short when she felt Spike's fingers brush against the small of her back where her shirt had ridden up a bit.

Spike smirked as he could feel the goose bumps on her skin under his finger tips. "You can't speak for things you don't really know…can you? I care, is that enough?"

Faye turned to look at him, but before she could answer him, he had wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back down on the bed with him. Faye was finding coherent thought to be all but unattainable, all she could focus on was how right this moment felt.

Resting his forehead against hers, Spike smirked before pressing his lips to hers, kissing her for the first time while sober. Faye slowly broke the kiss, and pulled back, studying his face in the dim light from the bed side lamp. It drove her crazy that he had the ability to be everything that she couldn't stand, and at the same time be the one thing she wanted more than anything. There was however, no time to think once she felt Spike's lips trail down the side of her neck, his fingers trailing up and down her side. Closing her eyes she smirked. "Damn you Lunkhead."

Spike chuckled against her neck. "What?"

Pulling away from him again, Faye left the bed, and looked back at a very confused Spike. Flashing him a playful smile, she locked the door and returned to the bedside, switching off the lamp and joining him in the darkness.

Waking the next morning, Spike reached over to pull Faye closer, only to be met by cold sheets. Slowly opening his eyes he quickly became aware of two things. He as very much nude, and very much alone. With a heavy sigh he sat up, his stomach dropping as he notice a piece of paper on the night stand. Reaching for it, he blinked the sleep from his eyes trying to focus on the words scrawled on the paper.

**Spike, I'm sorry about last night. That shouldn't have happened. I know you're probably reading this and thinking how fucked up this all is. Maybe you're right, maybe I, no maybe we're just too fucked up to ever be normal with each other. I don't really know how to deal with this, I wish I could tell you that I did. That things wouldn't be awkward, that things would be just fine between us, but I can't. I need to get away for a while. I don't know when I'll be back, and honestly I don't even know if you'd want me to come back. I know that you probably don't believe me, but I meant what I said last night. I do love you. I hope that someday maybe you can forgive me. I'm sorry. -Faye.**

Spike stared blankly at the paper, and read it again. Reaching on the floor for his boxers, he pulled them on, and read the note once more. Crumpling it up he threw it across the room, anger slowly starting to seep into him. Grabbing the pillow she had used he wrapped his arms around it, sitting on the edge of the bed. He closed his eyes, deeply inhaling her scent, before throwing the pillow across the room. "Fuck you."

He needed a cigarette, and needed one bad. Reaching for the pack on the night stand, he found it empty. Searching the night stand drawer for another pack, he also found a stash of cash missing as well. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Pulling the drawer all the way out, he threw it to the floor, scattering its meager contents about the room. "That's how its gonna be….hump and dump, steal my smokes, my money. Fucking bitch!"

Sitting down on the edge of the bed once more, Spike tried to regain his composure. It was then he spied a lone cigarette on the floor. Quickly snatching it up, he lit it and inhaled hard. He ran his hands through his hair, and felt a stinging and watering in his eyes. Removing the cigarette from his mouth he studied it, as if it were the cause. _Funny, smoke never bothered my eyes before._ Lie to himself all he wanted, Spike knew it was far from the truth.


	4. Be My Escape

The early morning Ganymede sun filtered through the window, highlighting peeling paint and neglected fixtures. Bed springs squeaked as Faye Valentine rolled out of bed, and observed her rental kingdom. With a groan she headed for the bathroom, appalled at the reflection that met her in the mirror. Green eyes, rimmed red with lack of sleep, studied her weary features reflected back in a forever semi fogged mirror. Running her tongue along the corner of her mouth, she observed a small cut, it still tasted of the faint metallic tang of blood. Slender fingers prodded gently at the oblong bruise forming under her eye, she scowled at the reflection, quickly exiting the bathroom.

She had been staying in this decrepit motel for the last week and a half. The money she had stolen from Spike had covered the first couple of nights, and after that she had resorted to picking up the smallest of the small fry bounties to afford another night. Last nights mark had gotten in a few elbows to her face before he had been subdued, Faye had been pissed, though perhaps her reflexes would have been sharper had she not been drinking.

Nights with little sleep, catching small fry bounties in skeezy bars was starting to get very old. Especially in the emptiness of this awful little room. A steady diet of vending machine snacks, cigarettes, cheap vodka, and club sandwiches from the deli next door weren't doing her any good either. If she had ever thought conditions were sub par on the Bebop, then this motel room was certainly hell. _You're the only reason you are here. You know that. _

Rubbing her temples, trying to ward off an oncoming headache, Faye sighed heavily as she sat on the edge of the sagging bed. She missed all of them. She missed Jet's shitty dinners, Ed begging to paint her nails, she even missed tripping over the dog in the middle of the night when he would sleep in the hall way. And then there was Spike, of course she missed him as well. She thought back to the last night she had spent with him, the way his hands had felt on her body, his lips on her skin, how peaceful he had looked when she left him sleeping. "Fuck, I need a cigarette"

Searching amidst the random assortment of empty cigarette packs, wrappers and bottles voided of there contents, Faye finally spotted a stray white stick. She also spied her com unit, and felt a twinge of guilt. Every day she had a missed call, sometimes from Jet, but mostly from Spike who attempted to contact her every day, and every day she ignored him. She had to admire his tenacity though, however she was pretty sure he just wanted to give her a piece of his mind. Not that she could really blame him.

Dragging a wobbly chair over to the window, she opened it and lit her cigarette. The man at the front desk had clearly stated no smoking in the rooms, but most rules were meant to be broken. Glancing down the alley way behind the building she could see a man peeing on the side of the building. Shaking her head in disgust, she diverted her attention to the wall on the opposite side of the alley. In big bright green letters someone had spray painted "If you are waiting for a sign, this is it. Do it. It will be amazing" Crushing her cigarette out on the window sill, Faye tossed the remainder out the window, and looked toward her com unit on the table. Maybe it was time to call home.

Back on the Bebop, things had been lackluster. Lighting up a cigarette, Jet leaned against the wall observing Spike who sat on the couch. The lanky man had his head back against the couch, eyes closed, Jet knew he was very hung over, or at least he should have been after last night.

Rubbing his beard, Jet thought back to the previous night. Spike had spent the previous day moping around, much like he had for the last week and a half, he was irritable, and moody, even for Spike. He had found Spike that night, out on the flight deck with his Jericho, and very drunk. He had been taking potshots at a small army of beer cans, cursing at them in slurred words, and staggering around. Beyond pissed, Jet had drug him back inside by the collar of his shirt, slamming him against the wall, and giving him an earful. Much to his surprise Spike had simply slumped down against the wall, and began to laugh hysterically at first, and then he cried. He had told Jet all about what had happened between Faye and himself the previous week, then he had thanked Jet for being such a good friend, and then went on and on about all the things he was grateful and sorry for, slurring the whole time. A dumbfounded Jet listened to every word, and when Spike finally passed out, not knowing what else to do, he threw a blanket over him and left him in the hall way. By morning he had found his way to the old yellow couch.

Finishing up his cigarette, Jet shook his head. Those two were so damn dysfunctional. The ringing of the Bebop main communications unit distracted him from his current thoughts. "Jet, Bob's callin you."

Spike was still seated on the couch, eyes still closed. Still, Jet figured his assumption was correct, he had been waiting to hear back from Bob about some info on a potential bounty of a decent size. Grumbling at the incessant ringing, Jet headed for the console, turning on the vid link. "Jesus Bob keep your panties on…oh…hey"

Spike arched an eyebrow at the change in Jet's tone of voice, he was talking much to quiet for Spike to hear now. It was obvious by now that Jet was not yakking it up with Bob. Unless they had a deep dark secret, Spike chuckled at his thought. "Hey uhh….Spike. Call's for you."

Mismatched brown eyes flew open, excitedly Spike rushed to the console, peering over Jet's shoulder. There on the other end of the screen was Faye, Spike stared blankly. Jet cleared his throat, momentarily breaking the tension. Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked from Faye on the screen, and then to Spike. "I uhhh….have some things to do." He rushed off in a hurry, leaving just the two of them.

Spike sat down, he had yet to say a word, he was beyond happy that she had finally called, yet he was still pissed. "Hey"

Faye studied Spike's image on the screen, he looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days. Spike with more than a days worth of stubble was something she had never witnessed. His eyes looked weary, much like her own. "Hey Spike."

Spike remained silent for what seemed like an eternity. He lit a cigarette, and inhaled deeply, exhaling a cloud of smoke. When he finally did speak, his voice was cold and harsh. "What do you want Faye?"

She cringed at the sound of his voice. He was still pissed and understandably so. She remained silent, unsure of what to say.

His eyebrows knitted in concern for a moment. "Faye, what happened to your face?"

"Bounty…had to play for this place somehow."

"Where are you?"

"Some shit hole motel on Ganymede."

That got Spikes attention. "We've been docked down at pier on the east side of downtown for three days now."

Taking in a deep breath, Faye slowly let it out. "Spike…I'm sorry…I'll pay you back the money and…."

He cut her off abruptly. "Just come home Faye…please."

Before she could even answer, Spike had terminated the transmission. The cold, distant tone in his voice made her feel all the more guilty. She had started to fear that all she had really done is built back up the wall around him and he had been letting down. _God what the hell did I do._

Cramming her few possessions she had with her into a duffel bag, she couldn't help a small smile as she headed out the door. It was time to go home.

Spike paced the hangar of the Bebop like a caged animal. Opening the door between the flight deck and the hangar, he continued his pacing. It had been four hours since he had spoken to Faye, and she still wasn't back, he was growing impatient. So he paced and paced, and smoked like a chimney.

Burning through his fifth cigarette, he saw the Redtail approach and land. Leaning against the wall he sighed, as Faye approached him. A part of him wanted to hate her, while the other part wanted nothing more but to hold her. "Took you long enough"

The cold indifference in his voice made Faye uncomfortable. She wanted to see some sort of emotion from the lanky man standing before her. His lack of it made her uncomfortable. "Yeah"

"You look like shit Romani."

"You don't look so hot yourself." Faye felt her heart begin to race as Spike approached her, locking his eyes on her, but just as quickly felt it drop as he pushed passed her and stood in the open door way, his gaze focused on the night sky.

Fighting with herself to get words out, Faye finally found them. "What do we do now?" She could see Spike's back tense as she spoke.

He turned around, glaring at her with one of the coldest looks she had ever seen from him. "Fuck! I don't know Faye. I thought maybe we could get married, maybe you'd pop out a couple kids and we'd get a little house. Maybe we'll even get a black cat and name him blue, just because its so god damn obscure." His voice rose with each word he spoke.

She had wanted to see emotion from him, and she certainly was getting it now. "Jesus, would you stop yelling, you're going to wake everyone up."

"What's the matter Faye? You afraid everyone will know you used me like a whore?"

Balling her fists at her side, she shot him a glare. "Fuck you Spike."

He gave a sardonic laugh. " Been there, done that. Remember Faye…it shouldn't have happened."

His words stung, but Faye knew there was truth behind them. He still had every right to be angry with her. "No it wasn't." By now Spike had turned his back to her, and resumed his staring at the inky night sky. "What I did was fucked up. You'd think by now that I would have learned that the cut and run routine gets me no where." Walking closer, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to forgive me, and I'll understand if you don't. And you don't have to believe me, but I do love you. If I have ever been sure about anything it's that."

Spike closed his eyes, listening to her every word, unsure of what to say or do now.

Faye wrapped her arms around him from behind, her hands resting against his stomach, her forehead pressed against his back. She felt him tense, and then relax, leaning back into her a little. She sighed heavily and tightened her hold on him slightly. "What the hell is wrong with us?

Grinning slightly, Spike rested his hands on top of hers. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed being close to her. "That's simple….we're stupid."

Faye chuckled slightly. "Speak for yourself. I think maybe stubborn is the better word."

"Eh, same thing if you ask me."

The lighthearted moment ended just as quickly as it began, as silence fell over them once more. Spike traced his finger from her wrist, up to her elbow, and back again. "I missed you Faye."

Turning her hands over, she laced her fingers with his, holding both his hands. "I missed you too Lunkhead."

Pulling his hands away from hers, he removed her hands from his waist. "I'm gonna head to bed."

Confused at his once again indifference toward her, Faye watched his back as he walked away. She wasn't sure what exactly she expected from him. After all she was the one who had caused this trouble to begin with.

Spike had every intention on going to bed alone, but as he reached the doorway, he stopped and turned to look at Faye. She had taken over his spot at the hangar door, looking outside as he had been. In the dim light he could barely make out her silhouette, but she still looked damn beautiful. Smiling to himself he leaned against the door jam. "Hey Faye? You comin' or not?"


	5. Where Do We Go From Here

Morning came, and with it came a surprise. Cautiously opening his eyes and rolling on his side, Spike smirked. He was quickly aware of two things, once more he was very much nude, but this time very much not alone. For the first time in the four nights that Faye had been in his bed, she was still there in the morning. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he pulled her closer, nuzzling his face against the crook of her neck. Faye groaned, and pressed back into him. "Mmm…Lunkhead, get off of me. You need a shave, your face is like sandpaper."

Kissing her neck, he rubbed his face against her again. "I dunno, I was thinking maybe I'd grow a beard."

Faye squirmed away from his face, poking him in the ribs. "Then you're gonna be sleeping alone."

Rolling on his back, Spike grinned. "I don't think you could stay away."

Smirking playfully, Faye slipped an arm around him, laying her head on his shoulder. "You wanna make a bet cowboy?"

Lacing his fingers together behind his head, Spike rolled his eyes. "No, I know you, and you never play fair."

Stillness fell over the pair as they laid together, basking in the warmth of each others bodies and the peacefulness of early morning hours. Tracing a finger down her bare back, Spike finally broke the silence. "Ya know, if every fight ends like this…we might have to make this a habit."

Faye elbowed him in the ribs, "Pervert...maybe I'll just cut you off."

Kissing her shoulder, Spike smirked against her skin. "Now come on….you wouldn't want to do something like that now, would you? " He continued kissing her shoulder, and up to her neck "Ya know…I think everyone is still sleeping." He was about to roll himself on top of her when his stomach growled loud enough for them to both hear.

Pushing him away, Faye laughed and sat up, pulling the sheet up with her. "Gee…I don't think you have enough strength for another round."

Rubbing the back of his neck, Spike stood and stretched. "Oh that's where you're wrong, I'm always good for another round"

Faye couldn't help but let her eyes trace over every inch of his nude body, a faint blush spread across her face. She was really considering giving into his suggestion.

"Enjoying the view my dear?"

Rolling her eyes, Faye threw a pillow at him. " Come on lets get some breakfast."

The rest of the morning had gone by peacefully. Spike had made French toast for breakfast, much to Faye's surprise he could cook. Ed had paid little mind to it, and simply had swooped in like a storm, grabbed food and vanished. Jet had all but had a heart attack over the fact that Spike was cooking, though deep down he was glad to just be able to sit down to a meal for once without having to do any work. If that wasn't strange enough, Faye had actually taken the time to feed Ein, and then did the dishes. The older man was perplexed, both Spike and Faye were in very good moods, and being useful. As odd as it was to Jet, he had resolved himself to just enjoy it for the meantime.

Afternoon and evening had been spent apart for the whole crew. Jet had worked on the Hammerhead, and then met up with an old friend for drinks. Ed and Ein did whatever it was that they usually did. Spike had gone after a small time bank robber, hoping to cash in on his bounty. And Faye had decided that she needed a little time to unwind, and hit up the casino in hopes of hitting it big.

Spike had returned home a little after 11 that night. The hammerhead was docked, but Jet was no where in sight, Spike assumed he must have gone to bed. Ed was sleeping on the floor, cuddled up with Ein, and Faye was still out.

Spike headed to his room, and changed into a pair of work out pants and grabbed a t shirt. Poking a newly forming bruise on his stomach he winced a little. The bounty had been an easy enough grab, minus the knee to the side. He could hear foot steps coming down the hall and knew it must've been Faye. Pulling the shirt over his head, he lit a cigarette and opened the door, stepping out into the hall way in time for Faye to walk passed. "How much did you lose?"

Faye paused as she passed him and turned around, a defiant grin on her face. "Who says I lost?"

Exhaling a cloud of smoke, Spike leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. "Did you cheat?"

Taking a step toward him, Faye plucked the cigarette from between his lips, taking a drag. "Oh ye of little faith." She turned, taking the cigarette with her, calling over her shoulder. "Night Lunkhead"

"Wait! In your room? I mean…I thought….uhhhh….well…" Spike mentally slapped himself for sounding so desperate.

Faye paused a moment, she had to admit to herself that the urgency he displayed was kind of cute. Looking over her shoulder she smirked. "Ill be right back."

Spike laid back on his bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling when Faye entered the room. Stretching out on the bed beside him, she studied his features. "What ya thinking?"

Turning his head to look at her, he smirked. "Well….remember right before or little our little camping excursion….when you got pissed at me for never showing any interest in what you remembered about your past?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Tell me something about it….tell me about your family."

Faye sat silent, and sat up leaning against the wall. " Ok…but then I want the same from you…..deal?"

Spike seemed to ponder for a moment, and then nodded. "Ok deal. I mean we should get to know each other better after all…right?"

Faye nodded in agreement, and then began. "Well….See my parents….well…My mom was a stay at home mom, she was a pretty woman. My father, he was a very handsome man, he was some kind of CEO or something…I mean that little detail is kinda fuzzy still. But we had money, a lot of money." She shifted a little, stretching her legs out in front of her. " I never wanted for anything as a child, I guess in a way you could say I was spoiled, but I don't really remember money being a big deal."

Spike watched her face with interest as she talked. Slowly drawing the parallel in his mind of a young Faye growing up with out a financial care in the world, and the woman that lived in the world they now occupied.

"We took vacations, and my parents would have big parties. I never paid that much mind, I would have just rather have played with the other kids. My dad was a good man…well, kind of, in a way."

Spike arched an eyebrow at her last statement, reaching his hand out to push a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen in her face. "What do you mean?"

"When I was about 10, my dad was fucking our house keeper. I don't think either of my parents ever knew that I knew. I just know that my mom drank a lot of wine and spent a lot of time alone in the bedroom for a while. And my dad went on a lot of business trips for a while. Looking back on it now, I think that maybe they were separated for a while…but they never divorced. My dad was always an excellent father to me though, regardless. Later as an older teenager, I felt kind of guilty for still idolizing my father." Faye leaned her head over on Spike's shoulder, and reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together. "Around the time everything happened with my parents, I started spending a lot of time with my grandmother, on my mom's side. She was a lovely woman, she always encouraged me to read, to explore, to learn as much as I could about the world around me. She died shortly before the accident that put me into the cryo sleep…pretty much that's about it as far as my family goes.."

Faye trailed off, and Spike gave her hand a small squeeze, he could tell she was done on the subject. Not wanting to ruin the new found openness, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I suppose its my turn now."

Reaching for the pack of cigarettes on the night stand, he lit one, and inhaled deep, offering one to Faye who declined. "Well….I was born on an afternoon, 7 pounds even. I had a mother and a father, and we lived in a house in a decent neighborhood, the kind where you could ride your bike to the end of the street and back without being kidnapped."

Faye smiled lightly, trying to picture Spike as a carefree child, as opposed to the grown man she had always known him as.

"My mother, like yours, was a stay at home mom. My father was an lawyer, not a big shot by any means, but he made decent money, enough for us to have a decent house, and to take care of me and my mom. He made a living getting petty syndicate thugs off on charges. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that he dealt in some shady business. I had a pretty normal childhood. I would go camping and fishing with my dad and uncle, I went to school, played with kids in the neighborhood…but all that changed when I was 11."

Crushing out the rest of his cigarette, Spike sighed slightly, and continued his story. " It was my parents anniversary, and my dad was trying to get home from work, he was supposed to take my mom out for dinner, and I was excited because they were going to leave me home alone for the first time. My dad told me I was gonna be the man of the house while they were gone. But he never came home….got in a car accident on the way home….died at the scene."

Spike leaned his cheek against the top of Faye's head that still rested on his shoulder. "After that…we lost the house…mom and I moved into this little apartment, she started drinking, at first she would hide it from me, but then she just stopped trying. The law firm dad worked at gave her a job filing papers, and life just went on like that for the next few years…."

He trailed off a little, and Faye gave his hand a little squeeze. "If you want to stop…."

"No" Spike cut her off, sinking down into a laying position, pulling her with him, her head on his chest.

"When I was fourteen…I remember my mom and I took a trip to the beach, I didn't see her drink the whole time we were there, we swam, got such bad sun burns, ate so much seafood. And it was the best time I could remember in a long time…A few weeks after we got back, she got sick, wouldn't see a doctor…finally I talked her into it, she had a cold that had turned to pneumonia. They gave her meds, and she was getting better. One day I came home from school, and she was in her bed, she had drank a whole bottle of wine, on top of her meds, she choked to death on her own god damn vomit, and I found her."

Faye turned her eyes up toward Spike's face, as was shocked to see a tear slide down the bridge of his nose, followed by a second. Pulling herself up a little, she kissed the tip of his nose, tasting the salty saline of those two lonely tears. Laying her head back on his chest, she closed her eyes. "I'm sorry"

Spike wrapped his arms around her, and continued his story, much to her surprise. She had never planned on his being this open. "After that I went to live with my uncle, he was a petty drug runner for the syndicate, but he was a good guy, just got mixed up with the wrong people. My dad always kept him outta trouble though. I started partying with the slackers at school, ditching class, but when the time came, somehow I managed to graduate, but barely. One night when my uncle was out…I was fishin around in his closet, and came across a gun case that I remembered seeing vaguely as a child. It was a gun my dad owned, a Jericho. I lifted it from his closet, and went out with some friends, we were drinking and shootin' shit out in some quarry. When I came home that night, I had every intention of putting the gun back, but when I got home….the house was in flames…fire department was there…and my uncle had been in the house."

Keeping her head on his chest, Faye listened to the rhythmic beating of his heart, fighting back stinging tears in her own eyes. She had just listened to Spike tell her how he had lost his entire family by the time he was barely a legal adult. It was all so tragic, how a kid with a normal life could lose everything , though she could partly relate.

"So…I would go from couch to couch at friends places. I got a job at a sandwich shop, and one day this kid comes in, a little punk ass kid, starts talking me up, telling me about this party. So I go with him, we drink a little, he starts telling me about a way to make easy money. Tells me his name is Vicious. A couple days later, we rob the sandwich shop I was working at. I started crashing on his couch, and for the next six months we'd rob little shops and stores, he startled peddling drugs, and through that we were introduced to some syndicate thugs. The rest is kinda history I guess."

Faye remained silent for a good while. She hadn't expected to hear all of this. She wasn't sure what she had excepted, but this certainly hadn't been it. Even though the room was silent, Faye swore she could hear him thinking. Wrapping her arms around him, she pressed her forehead against his chest, and felt him softly rub the small of her back.

"I guess we both have our reasons for being so fucked up Faye."

"Yeah"

Spike looked down at the top of her head, and idea forming in his head, trying to lighten the heaviness that had settled over the mood. "Look…I'm not exactly good at this…but we should go on a date…sometime."

Faye scooted herself up, laying her head on the pillow beside his. "We're kind of doing things a little backward aren't we?"

Smirking a little, Spike leaned forward, giving her a gentle kiss. "When have we ever been ones for tradition? So…is that a yes?"

Kissing him again, Faye pulled back slightly, her lips just barely grazing his as she spoke. "I think I can manage to clear my schedule."

Reaching across the bed, Spike turned out the bedside lamp, a goofy grin plastered on his face. "Good night Faye"

Snuggling closer to him under the covers, Faye smiled to herself. "Night Spike."

It didn't take long for sleep to take its hold as Spike's bed had never been more comfortable to either of them.


	6. Lazy Day Afternoon

Bright afternoon sun filtered through the leaves of the trees, the distant sound of children playing and occasional barking of a dog filled the air of the park. Strolling casually along a walking pathway that circled around a small lake, Spike and Faye took in the beautiful day.

"I hope this is ok." Spike shoved his hands in his pockets as they walked along. He had wanted to do something besides grab something to eat, and after all it was a beautiful day. It wasn't exactly like he was a dating guru. With Julia there hadn't really been time for dates, between syndicate business and sneaking around behind Vicious' back. Though they had gone for coffee once, and Spike had spent the whole time nervously watching the door. The only other real date he had been on had been during high school. He had taken a girl to the movies in hopes of getting into her pants, only to have her boyfriend, that she coincidently forgot to mention, show up and beat his ass.

"Of course…It's a gorgeous day out, and honestly its nice to get off the ship, and spend sometime with you in day light." A smirk tugged at the corner of Faye's lips. Her statement however had been quite true. Most of their day time hours over the course of the past couple of weeks had been spent avoiding each other. Only spending time with one and other when it was late, and everyone had gone to bed. In the back of her mind Faye couldn't help but wonder if Spike was ashamed of what the others might think. During the night he was like a different person, then again so was she. It wasn't like she was making the effort to spend time with him during the day either. Then again it had been Spike who had suggested that they spend the day together, Faye kicked herself mentally for thinking the worst of things.

Removing a hand from his pocket, Spike continued to walk along, his finger tips brushing Faye's. He arched an eyebrow, she made no move to pull her hand away, but also made no move to make anything of it. As they walked along quietly, taking in the scenery, Spike made a few more failed attempts, before finally just going for it, and lacing his fingers with hers. Spike let his eyes fall on their joined hands as they walked along. He didn't know why it was so hard for them to just be like a normal couple. Then again, they were far from normal, and as for being a couple…well he wasn't really sure what the hell they were, or what he wanted them to be.

As they got closer to the actual park, an ice cream vendor came into view. Spike looked to Faye from the corner of his eye, smiling at the way her face lit up upon seeing the vendor. "You want one don't you?"

Flashing an innocent smile, Faye swung his hand back and forth a little. "I mean if you are offering, who am I to turn you down."

Tucking his wallet back in his pocket, Spike took a seat next to Faye on a park bench. Quickly he licked the bit of strawberry ice cream that threatened to run off the cone on to his hand. "What kind did you get?"

Taking a bite of ice cream off the top of the cone, Faye winced at the slight ice cream headache. "Cookie dough."

"Hmmmm" Spike leaned over and licked her ice cream "Not bad"

"Hey! You've got your own!" Faye leaned over trying to get to his ice cream.

Quickly turning away from her with a genuine laugh, Spike shielded his cone. "So do you!"

After finishing their ice cream, they continued on with their walk, this time hand in hand from the start. Faye didn't mind that Spike was quiet and seemed lost in thought, and Spike didn't mind that Faye's hand was slightly sticky from ice cream. This time it just felt comfortable.

Slipping her hand from Spike's, Faye walked over to secluded shady spot in the grass near the tree line, and plopped down. Following suit, Spike did the same, stretching his long legs out in front of him. Laying back, he laced his fingers behind his head and looked up to the sky.

Faye turned her body, and laid on her back, her head resting against Spike's stomach. Spike couldn't help but smirk, as the position reminded him of the time they had gotten drunk and passed out on the couch together. Pulling one hand from behind his head, he pointed skyward. "What does that cloud look like to you?"

Squinting, Faye pondered for a few moments. " It sorta looks like a submarine….I think."

Placing his hand behind his head again, Spike chuckled. "Nah, it looks like a hot dog."

"A hotdog? How do you figure?"

The cloud had started to dissipate, not really resembling anything any more. "I dunno, it just does."

Faye smiled and closed her eyes, reveling in the feeling of just being close to Spike. She tried not to let her mind over analyze any of this. She didn't know what it was they had, or where they were heading. Part of her was terrified at the very thought of everything that had transpired as of late, the other part was just pleading for her mind to shut up and enjoy things as they came.

"Faye….don't move." Spike's voice held a serious tone, that made her tense.

Feeling Spike tense under her head, Faye's eyes shot open. Her mind started racing. "W.. wh...why?"

"Ok…well, you can move, but just do it really slowly."

Rolling slowly from her back to her stomach, body tense, Faye rested her chin against Spike's chest. He head his head tipped all the way back, and was nose to nose with a very small, and very curious black kitten. Faye laughed, relaxing against him. "Jesus Christ Spike! its just a kitten. You had me thinking there was some crazy guy with a gun or a swarm of bees or something."

Small whiskers tickled, as Spike crinkled his nose and the kitten continued to sniff. " You're being a bit over dramatic Faye. You think it belongs to someone here?"

"Your the one all worked up over a little cat, and I am the dramatic one?" Sitting up slowly, Faye couldn't help but smile at the scene before her. The kitten was now rubbing its face against Spike's forehead. The tiny little thing made Spike look like a giant. "I highly doubt it has owners. who the hell brings a kitten to the park?" Deftly she reached out, scooping up the kitten, and setting it on her lap, gently stroking its back. "it's a friendly little thing."

Propping himself up to rest on his hands, Spike watched as Faye petted the small bundle of fuzz. " I wasn't being dramatic...it just surprised me was all...Should we take it to the pound or something?"

Furrowing her brow, Faye shot Spike a glance he couldn't quite decipher. "The pound will want money to leave it there, and I don't know about you, but I'm about broke. Besides, look how sweet it is. Its too small to be left here all alone…"

Spike was pretty sure they could afford to drop it off at the pound, and he saw right through Faye, he knew what she was suggesting. "Faye….you know Jet is gonna shit his pants if we bring that thing back."

Reaching the kitten out toward Spike, she flashed him an over the top fake smile. "Oh come on Spike, it can sleep in our room."

Hesitantly stroking the top of the kittens head with a couple fingers, Spike arched an eye brow. "_Our_ room?"

"Well…fine it can sleep with me in MY room. You can sleep alone."

"All right you win. The damn cat can sleep with us in my…oh wait…our room."

His slight sarcasm wasn't lost on Faye, who smiled triumphantly. "Good, glad you can see things my way"

Spike rolled his eyes at her gloating. He then caught Faye off guard when he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers.

Smiling against his lips as she pulled back slightly, Faye rested her hand against his cheek. Silently thankful that he had decided to shave. "Are you trying to shut me up?"

Spike captured her lips once more in a chaste kiss. "Maybe…I mean it seemed to work right?"

Punching him lightly in the shoulder, Faye laughed. "We're going to need to get a few things at the store for this little thing"

"I thought you said you were broke?"

A devilish grin spread across Faye's face. "I am, but I said I didn't know about you.."

Groaning, Spike rubbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers before pushing himself up to stand, offering a hand down to Faye. "Ok fine….lets go."

.Snip. Jet Black leaned back on the old yellow couch and examined his bonsai. Satisfied with his pruning, he set the clippers down beside the pot on the table and lit himself a victory smoke. The sound of approaching voices that he recognized as Faye and Spike caught his attention, as his two comrades entered the living room. He had begun to wonder where they had been all day as they had left earlier in the morning. The older man was not prepared for the sight the met him. Faye held a bag in one hand, her other hand in Spike's, and Spike's free hand was a kitten. Cigarette barely hanging in his mouth, he gaped at them in shock. "What the hell is that?"

Shrugging his shoulders slightly, "it's a kitten" he deadpanned.

Snuffing out his cigarette, Jet rose to his feet, meeting them across the room. "I know damn well what it is Spike. The question is, what is it doing on this ship?"

Spike opened his mouth as if he was about the answer, but instead shut it, and turned to Faye, who answered instead. "We found it at the park. It's too little to be left out there all alone. It needs a home Jet"

The older man shook his head. "Oh no, no, no. You two are about as responsible as a pair of children. Who do you think is going to end up taking care of that mangy thing? Me!"

Faye let go of Spike's hand, and grabbed the kitten from Spike, holding it out toward Jet. "It's not mangy, its cute. And we'll take care of it. You're being a drama queen Jet."

Mumbling under his breath, Jet turned from the pair, and grabbed his clippers and bonsai off the table. "Fine. You two better, or I'll turn it out" he left the room, still mumbling to himself.

Spike scratched the back of his neck. "Hey good job Faye. You really worked your charm there."

Faye shot him a glare, and turned her attention to Ein who now sat at her feet whining. Squatting down, she held the kitten out toward him, the two sniffing each other, before the kitten hissed, Ein turned at left the room as quickly as he had entered. "Some brave dog you are."

Later that night, Faye had finished brushing her teeth, and headed for Spike's room, she paused in the door way watching him. The kitten was sitting on his stomach, Spike was dangling the draw string from his pajama pants in front of it. Smiling, she shut the door behind her, and made her way over to the bed, laying down beside Spike. "I thought you hated cats."

He shifted his gaze to her. "Well, I could learn to like one. I mean, it worked with you."

Elbowing him in the side, she reached over, rubbing the kittens chin. "What should we name it?"

"Well Faye, its not an it. I looked. I'm pretty sure it's a he."

"Well what should we name him?"

Spike scratched his cheek as he thought, he turned his gaze to the little black cat perched on his stomach. A playful smirk tugging at the corners of his thin lips. "How about we call him Blue"

Faye arched her eyebrow, remembering their fight in the hangar and how irrational he had been. "Because its so god damn obscure?"

"Mmm Hmm"

Faye leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Well then Blue it is I guess"

Lifting the cat off of his stomach, Spike pulled the sheets up over both Faye and himself, placing the kitten between them. Stroking the kitten's back for a moment, he then leaned over and kissed Faye's forehead, before rolling over and turning off the light, bathing the room in darkness.


	7. Midnight Confession

Brilliant sunlight danced across the smooth water, reflecting back like a sea of diamonds. Spike walked along the pier, his boots making a steady thump sound with every step. The breeze held a smell of salt, and creosote soaked wood. Sticking a cigarette in his mouth, Spike smirked around the stick of tobacco as he came upon a familiar figure. Faye stood, leaning against the railing, her emerald eyes scanning the water. Coming to a stop beside her, Spike lit his smoke, watching her face as she scanned the water as if she were looking for something.

Without turning to acknowledge him, Faye smiled seductively. "Hey cowboy. Come here often?"

Bumping her hip with his own, he smirked. "Hey yourself." Reaching over, he offered her his half smoked cigarette, which she accepted, still without looking at him. Spike was slightly puzzled over her distracted behavior, taking a deep breath he finally spoke again. "Look….so I have been thinking, I mean about what you said a while back…and I want you to know that I do lov…"

The sharp crack of a single gun shot rang out. Spike quickly dropped to his knees, and instinctively grabbed Faye. "Hey are you ok?" Immediately he knew something was wrong. Faye slumped against him, and he could clearly see that the shot had cleanly entered her head, through and through. As he stared blankly at her, he was perplexed by the lack of blood, though she was clearly dead.

Swallowing hard at the lump forming in his throat, Spike felt tears start to burn his eyes. Gently he stroked her face, until the sound of foot falls on the pier caused him to tense. Rising to his feet, he pulled his Jericho raising it at the approaching figure. "Who are you?"

The figure approached closer, steps never wavering, closer and closer until they reached out a slender hand to wrap around the end of the gun.

Spike stared in disbelief, his eyes falling on cold blue eyes, and soft golden blonde hair. "J…Ju..Julia?"

Julia forced his hand to lower his gun before she let go. "Yes Spike, it's me."

Spike shook his head, "No…No! You're not here. You're dead. This has got to be a dream."

"It's all a dream…" Julia spoke in such a cold dreamy tone. "Do you want me to be dead?"

"There is nothing I can do for a dead woman." Spike's own words matched her cold tone. Inwardly he shivered at the extreme de ja vu he felt over parts of this conversation. "You're not here."

Julia held both arms out, and wiggled her fingers. "Well, it would seem that I am very much here….but as for dead women…" She motioned toward Faye.

Spike turned his eyes to Faye's slumped form on the pier, he felt a sudden urge to vomit. Raising the Jericho once more he pointed it at Julia. " You! You did this to her! Why!?"

Julia frowned. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you loved her. But what about me? Lets just say it would be easier with her out of the way."

Tensing his finger on the trigger, Spike could feel his hand start to tremble. "Love, not loved. I love her god damnit! But I did love you Julia, and shit….a part of me probably always will, but I want to be happy, why cant you let me have that? I finally let myself start to move on…and you ruin it. You're dead…I know you're dead Julia."

Reaching out for the Jericho again, Julia lifted it to her forehead. "If this is a dream…and I am dead…then you'll have no problem pulling the trigger."

Finger still tense on the trigger, Spike looked from Julia, to Faye's lifeless form, and back. Tears blurred his vision, his hand shook uncontrollably. "Don't…."

Julia looked at him with a new found look of understanding and compassion. "If you really love her, then wake up from the dream."

"I…I'm sorry. " Feeling tears start to roll down his face, Spike tried to steady his hand. Taking a deep breath he pulled the trigger.

Shooting up, Spike drew a deep breath, his head was spinning, and it took a few moments for him to gather his bearings. Taking several slow deep breaths, he ran his hands through his sweat soaked hair. _Jesus Christ.._ _It was just a nightmare. _Carefully he leaned over, looking at Faye. She was peacefully sleeping, her chest rising and falling with each breath. Spike let out a long sigh, gently he petted Blue, who was curled up beside Faye. _She's ok…she's alive. _Laying back down, Spike kept his eyes on the ceiling, not wanting to go back to sleep. He thought about his dream, what it could have meant. He had said he loved Faye. _I said I love her…do I?_

Rolling on his side, Spike propped himself up on an elbow, just watching Faye sleep. It was the seventh night they had spent like this, granted it had been broken up and bit by her little running off incident, but hey that was the past. He had cooked her breakfast, they had gone on a date, even acquired a cat. The sex was good. _Scratch that, its great._ Spike let a knowing smirk tug at the corners of his mouth. Then it hit him…in a weeks time, he had let his guard down slowly, and experienced the closest thing to a real relationship he had ever had. Faye had given him that, and asked for very little in return. For all of her flaws, and lord knows she had a lot, though so did he, she had done something truly selfless for him. Smiling he leaned over and kissed her forehead, gently shaking her shoulder. "Faye….Faye wake up."

Faye rolled over and mumbled something incoherent.

"Come on Faye…get up!"

"Hmm…what time is it?"

Spike smiled, taking in her sleepy appearance. "It doesn't matter what time it is, I just…well…I have something to tell you?"

Rolling back over, Faye kissed his shoulder before laying her head against it. She reached up to run her fingers through his hair, but furrowed her brow. "Why are you all sweaty?"

"Just a bad dream…its fine."

Pulling back from him slightly, Faye studied his face. His words said one thing, but his expression showed another. "Come on Lunkhead, tell me about it."

Spike pulled away from her, and reached for the bedside lamp, flipping it on. He then reached for the pack of cigarettes and pulled one out and lit it, taking a long drag before leaning back against the wall. "Well…we were on a dock, it was a really pretty day out. We were talking…well, kind of, but I had something to tell you, and I was about to tell you….when you got shot. Right in the head…you died Faye."

Resting a hand on his forearm, Faye lightly let her fingertip trace over his skin as she waited for him to continue.

"Julia shot you….and then I shot her…that's about it really. But…she's dead…you're not." Spike reached over crushing out the smoke. He turned his attention back to Faye, trying to decipher the look on her face. It bordered somewhere between confusion and concern. "But I was thinking…I mean after I woke up, about that dream, about what I had to tell you in it, and why I woke you up. I realized that on the third night that you snuck into my room that you told me that you loved me, and I never said anything about it. And then I realized that I didn't know what to say then, but I do now. I love you too."

Faye smiled, a genuinely happy smile. Resting her hand on the side of Spike's face, she leaned in and kissed him. Pulling back she let her forehead rest against his. "Good. I love you Lunkhead."

A comfortable silence fell over them, before Faye finally spoke. "Hey Spike…what…what are we?"

Letting out a small sigh, Spike pondered her question for a moment. "I dunno Faye…I mean I'm not exactly good at this kind of thing…can't we just be…I dunno, us?"

Leaning her head against his shoulder, she reached down lacing her fingers in his. " Just us though…right?"

Spike picked up on the tinge of uncertainty in her voice, he gave her hand a small reassuring squeeze. "Of course just us. No one else. Just don't ask too much of me."

Faye kissed his cheek with a small laugh "I wouldn't dream of it."

Smiling to himself, Spike slid down the wall, resting against the pillow once more. He pulled Faye down with him, and she came to rest with her head on his chest. They laid in silence for what felt like hours, Faye drew abstract shapes along Spike's stomach with the tip of her finger, while Spike lazily stared at the ceiling. Finally he broke the silence once more. "So remember when we talked about getting to know more about each other? I was wondering…I mean its not that important….but uhh…how many guys…ya know?"

"Have I slept with?" Faye finished the sentence for him. " Way to be subtle Spike." She scooted up, laying her head beside his on the pillow. "Afraid you don't measure up?"

Spike snickered beside her. "I was just curious is all…I mean…you don't have to answer."

"Not exactly the kind of question to ask a lady…but if you must know…including you, three."

Spike leaned his head against hers, both had their eyes on the ceiling. "Hmm.."

"What?" his lack of answer indicated that he wanted to know more. " The first one was like a week after high school graduation. His name was Jeff Jones. I had the biggest crush on him, and then we were at a party he got me alone, and talked me into it. The most uncomfortable awkward five minutes of my life. Needless to say we didn't speak after that, even though he told me he would call, and take me out on a real date. Then there was Whitney, also incredibly uneventful if you ask me.….and then you." She turned her head to look at Spike who was wearing a smug grin. "What?"

"So I would say I'm already fairing a lot better than those other two clowns…"

"I suppose you are….now what about you Casanova…spill it"

Lacing his fingers behind his head, Spike turned his eyes back toward the ceiling. "Four…the first time was when I was seventeen…some girl at a party, didn't know her, but I was the last one of my friends that was a virgin, but unlike your experience, I'd say I had a pretty enjoyable few minutes. Then there was Julia. Then Muriel once….that was awful….then you."

Faye knitted her eyebrows together, as if she was trying to figure something out. Then it hit her what it was. "Ew..Spike. Muriel? That waitress?"

Spike turned to her with a mock hurt expression on his face. "Hey, I like to think of it as a lapse in judgement….besides you slept with Whitney…and he's all flabby and gross."

"Hey! In all fairness he wasn't like that then….I have standards, unlike you" she flashed him a playful grin.

Wrapping his arms around her, Spike pulled her on top of him. "Oh…well in that case why don't you show me your standards"

Lacing her fingers with his, Faye leaned down to kiss him hard, breaking away to letting go of his hands, she trailed kisses down his neck, to his chest. Her path continued, at a torturously slow pace, lower and lower, until she felt something furry press against her face, followed by a small purring in her ear. Face to face with Blue, she laughed slightly at the kitten and picked him up.

Spike groaned, sitting up. "Damn cat."

Faye rolled off the bed, and grabbed the kitten once more, heading for the door, and setting him in the hall way. "Ill come back for you later ok? Try not to get in trouble." shutting the door and locking it, she headed back for the bed, coming back to straddle Spike once more. "So where were we?"

Sliding his hand up under her shirt slightly, he gave an innocent shrug. "Ya know….I don't really recall, maybe you should refresh my memory." Faye gave him a seductive smile as she reached to turn the light off, but Spike grabbed her wrist. "Leave it on."

Sometime later, Spike smiled to himself leaning over to turn off the bedside lamp. Faye laid cuddle up to him, fast asleep. Putting his hands behind his head, he laid back in the darkness, listening to the soft breathing of the woman beside him. _Things really are changing aren't they._

Faye shifted slightly, draping an arm across his chest, mumbling something, but remaining asleep. Spike couldn't help but marvel at the whole situation. His time back on the bebop was definitely making him into a new man. He wasn't different, just improved, and that was something he thought he could be ok with.

Everything in life just seemed to have much more meaning, and maybe even purpose. With out the weight of the past to saddle him down, progressing into the present had never seemed so easy. Partly he could say Faye was to blame, no, thank for that. When she had first joined him and Jet on the Bebop she had just weaseled her way into being part of the crew, with a presence that was just to big to ignore. She had done the same thing weaseling her way into his heart. In both instances he had been angry, then annoyed, then confused, and then grateful.

Removing one hand from behind his head, he let it rest on her side. She moved slightly under his touch, snuggling closer, if that was even possible. He smiled at the feel of her warm skin beneath his hand, her soft even breathing. He definitely loved this woman. So what if they didn't have some official relationship title. Titles were over rated, and seemed to have a way of complicating things. What mattered was that they had each other, that was more than enough, especially if he could spend every night like this.

They were a work in progress, far from perfect but headed in the right direction. Everyday would bring something new, and as long as they could roll with it, then maybe everything would turn out all right.


End file.
